I told you in my last post about how John and I hung out with a group of couples staying in a nearby beach house, and we had all smoked something together that made me feel sick.
The next morning I went on the Internet trying to figure out what it was that had made me feel so strange. I found a description of heroin that matched the black sticky goo that was in the pipe and I was horrified.
I had never tried hard drugs before, just a little bit of pot at parties and a few times I had taken a friend’s Adderall to help me stay up late and study. It had never been my intention to try heroin, and I certainly wouldn’t have taken a hit if I’d known what it was.
I told John about it, thinking he’d be as hysterical as I was. Instead, he laughed and said that he had known what it was because he’d tried it before and liked it. I was shocked but unsure of how to really respond.
I tried to put it out of my mind and just focus on the rest of our honeymoon. But every night after that John wanted to go hang out with the other couples again. I was very uncomfortable with the idea, but I tagged along with him at first and just quietly sipped a beer while everyone else got high.
After a couple of nights of this, I said I was uncomfortable and didn’t want to spend any more of our honeymoon with those people, thinking John would agree with me. Instead, he said that was fine and he would just go by himself.
I couldn’t believe it, but I didn’t want to seem clingy or annoying. Looking back, it would have been perfectly reasonable for me to establish a boundary that I wanted us to only spend time together on our honeymoon, and that certainly I didn’t want him smoking heroin.
But I thought it was just a vacation and John was blowing off some steam after working so hard in college and that I should just let it go.
I was just so young and didn’t know better, but at the same time I should have listened to my gut and known what John was doing was not normal. Who wants to hang out with strangers getting high instead of spending the night with their wife on their honeymoon?
Keep reading to find out what happened at the end of our trip.